Michael Offerman - President, Jerk, Liar, Oaf

As Capella University's President, few people (other than the founder of "Tonka U.", Steve Shanks) are in the position to take responsibility for the blatant bigotry and discrimination that Capella exerts against students. As will soon be noted in the following transcript of Michael Offerman's declaration (which, amusingly, he had the audacity to sign "under the penalty of perjury") he's not only a blatant liar but also demonstrates what an oaf he really is.

In addition to the text version provided below, you may also view a copy of Michael Offerman's official declaration (requires Adobe Acrobat Reader)! Maybe Offerman should just quit and take up writing comic books instead!

I, Michael J. Offerman, declare as follows:
  1. I am the President of Capella University (“Capella”), defendant and counterclaimant herein. I make this declaration in support of Capella’s Opposition to Plaintiff’s Motion to Strike Capella’s Counterclaim.
  2. I make these statements of my own personal knowledge, and if called, could and would testify competently thereto.
  3. In or around late summer of 2005, I was told that Plaintiff had contacted the University of California, Irvine (“UCI”) in connection with its business relationship with Capella.

University of California, Irvine Students, Beware!

 

Now just who would have "told" Offerman about the complaints that a California student wrote to public officials about the sleazy relationship between UCI and Capella University? Of course, these same sleazy University of California officials happen to be public officials that are supposed to be accountable to tax payers. As readers will soon see, the incompetent morons and jackasses who run UCI and the University of California value their sleazy financial relationships with Offerman and Capella University more than the taxpayers who pay their disgusting salaries.

 
  1. I requested that Gary Matkin, UCI’s Dean of Extended Education, send me copies of such correspondence.

Gary Matkin Revealed!

 

It didn't take long for Offerman to reveal that his buddy, UCI's sleazy slimy bigoted dean of the Extended Education Program, was the snitch. After all, they've been "good 'ole boys" for a long time! Check out our UCI page devoted to these bosom buddies!

 
  1. On or about October 3, 2005, Mr. Matkin forwarded to me an email with a subject line of “Inappropriate Alliance between University of California and Capella University.” That email contains a copy of Plaintiff’s August 31, 2005 letter directed to Dr. Robert Dynes, President of the University of California (“UC”). The email address and routing instructions indicate that this correspondence was directed to each member of the Regents of the University of California, to UCI’s Chancellor, Dr. Michael V. Drake, and the UCI Academic Senate, as well as other individuals. A true and correct copy of the email is attached hereto as Exhibit 1.

Gary Matkin Displays that He's a Backstabbing Sleaze Ball!

 

While we seldom use profanity, the fact is that Gary Matkin, like his buddy Michael Offerman, refuses to respond to students (and California taxpayers) with legitimate complaints about the bigotry that exists at Capella University. The fact that Gary Matkin not only refused to correspond with the student but, instead whined like a baby to his buddy, Offerman, demonstrates that Matkin is an unprofessional, unethical, sleazy, backstabbing bastard!

With that being established, let's now discuss an even bigger and sleazier money-grabbing public employee - Robert Dynes. As recently noted in the infamous series of stories released by the San Francisco Chronicle about Robert Dynes and some of his underlings - sleaze-ball presidents from the UC campuses - regarding the fact that they are leaching off of California taxpayers to the tune of nearly $1,000,000 (yes, that's one million dollars) per year for outlandish perks, we're not surprised that Robert Dynes also lacked the integrity to respond about the Capella situation. As noted, the San Francisco Chronicle broke this story around the time that Scum bag Dynes and Money-monger Matkin were jumping into the proverbial sack with Michael Offerman.

As also noted in Offerman's "declaration" there were other UC scum involved, including, but not limited to:

  1. Regents of the University of California
    • (Names will be posted) - all, of course, were too unethical to respond.
  2. UCI’s Chancellor, Michael V. Drake - another sleaze ball piece of work who lives in luxury at tax payer expense even though (and this should make any decent human being wretch) his faculty members at the UCI Medical Center were busy killing incident people ("only" 30 people died!) as part of the notorious UCI liver transplant scandal. Michael Drake was also too much of a wimp to respond to the Capella situation. We think he that he would probably rather watch Offerman's and Matkin's love affair with money, than with to write back to California taxpayers who pay for his perks. One story about the Drake's UCI transplant scandal appears in an Associated Press Release (the preceding link takes views to the story as it appeared in the Washington Post).
  3. The UCI Academic Senate, (only one individual wrote back to say that he was "passing on" the information)
  4. Other individuals -
    • Names to be posted.

 
  1. In this correspondence, Plaintiff urges UC to cease doing business with Capella and makes several disparaging and untrue statements, including the following:

    “UCI and Capella are now earning tens of thousands of dollars from unsuspecting students who are being scammed into the belief that they can earn a degree from Capella after completing extension courses at UCI.’

    “thousands [of dollars] were stolen from me [by Capella].”

    Referring to “significant illegal and unethical activities I experienced, first hand, at Capella”

    “UCI’s unholy alliance with Capella must be stopped before other students are harmed. In fact, no universities within the UC (or Cal State) systems should be allowed to develop such alliances...Is the University of California going to do anything to stop the abuse of their students by Capella University? If so, what?”

    Calls Capella a “diploma mill.”

Offerman Lies!

 

The above statements demonstrate that Michael Offerman is not only a liar but a complete and total oaf. It also displays how, as a esteemed "college president" for the money-making scam that he runs, how he is intent on denying the Constitutional rights of American citizens. As is evident from his whining, Offerman objects to taxpayers complaining to their (grossly incompetent and unethical) public officials. Naturally, we haven't even touched upon the First Amendment issues involved.

 
  1. The statements cited above are false, as set forth hereinafter:

Students can transfer credits from UCI to Capella towards completion of a degree.

Plaintiff’s tuition for the. classes he left before completing was refunded; he paid only for those classes he completed. Capella did not steal anything from Plaintiff.

Neither Capella nor its officers, directors, employees or agents engaged in any unethical or illegal behavior towards Plaintiff.

No harm results to Plaintiff or any other student as a result of the UCI business relationship.

Michael Offerman is a Lying Moron!

 

The above statements demonstrate that Michael Offerman is not only a liar but also a blithering idiot who is incapable of reading! The facts are:

  1. No one ever stated that students could not "transfer credits from UCI to Capella" - so, what's Offerman talking about? Duh!
  2. No "refund" was ever issued! Period. Capella's sleaze ball lying shyster, Greg Thom, had a check sent for "legal reasons" - that's not an "opinion" but a fact. Any moron who has seen the hard written evidence knows that's a FACT. Furthermore, Capella University still has the student's money!
  3. Offerman's statement that none of Capella's "officers, directors, employees or agents engaged in any unethical or illegal behavior towards Plaintiff" is another indication that Michael Offerman is a complete idiot who is incapable of telling the truth!
  4. No harm? No harm! Has Michael Offerman has gone off the deep end? Or perhaps he is just too gaga over the money he's sucking in.

 
  1. I recently became aware of a webpage [sic] in which Mr. Matkin appears with me. A true and correct copy of this page is attached hereto as Exhibit 2. This page contains disparaging remarks about both Mr. Matkin and me, including allegations of the existence of some sort of “secret society” to market online education as well as assertions of a quid pro quo due to my participation in Mr. Matkin’s performance review.

Michael Offerman is Comedian!

 

All readers are encourage to view the Michael Offerman Loves Gary Matkin (and vise versa) page on this site!

 
  1. The allegations contained in the website are untrue. No such secret society exists. In addition, there is note [sic], nor has there ever been, a quid pro quo. The practice of having external colleagues participate in performance reviews is very common, especially in institutions such as UCI where administrators operate pursuant to five-year contracts. I participate in the review of several colleagues across the country. UCI and Capella have explored ways to maximize this association for the benefits of all students. The allegations inject a level of tension that did not exist before Plaintiff’s actions and cause concern regarding the continuation of the association.

Michael Offerman Must Be Smoking Something Illegal!

 

More ramblings of an oaf! No one ever said that Offerman belongs to a secret society. If Offerman wasn't such a sleazy cretin, he might have actually looked at the page he was whining about - again, that page may be viewed here! Obviously, Mikey is simply too stupid to notice the cute little quotes (those funny little lines) around the words "secret society."

 
  1. I have also reviewed copies of portions of Plaintiff’s website concerning me. Copies of those pages are attached hereto as Exhibits 3a and 3b. These pages contain statements that are false and derogatory, as set forth hereinafter:

In Exhibit 3, Plaintiff has altered my photograph to place my face on Adolph Hitler’s body, refers to me as Führer Offerman, and states as follows:

“His commission of one of the most moronic lies ever told by a university president to students. Offerman offered an insipid “apology” to Capella students regarding their use of WebCT, that [Offerman] stated:

“The ‘situation rose unexpectedly’ after Capella had conducted ‘several months of testing’ where test subjects found WebCT to be ‘universally praised for being exceptionally user-friendly and intuitive, and providing new and useful online tools’.”

In Exhibit 4, Plaintiff states as follows:

“The ‘situation rose unexpectedly’ after Capella had conducted ‘several months of testing’ where test subjects found WebCT to be ‘universally praised for being exceptionally user-friendly and intuitive, and providing new and useful online tools.’ Apparently, Michael Offerman is not only a complete dolt but he’s also an incredible liar!”

“Michael Offerman is a liar. Period.”

Michael Offerman IS a Liar, and a Jerk, and an Idiot, etc.!

 

Michael Offerman is so stupid that he quotes some of his own lies! Two years after his bogus study found that WebCT was "universally praised for being exceptionally user-friendly and intuitive, and providing new and useful online tools," Offerman still hasn't produced the study! Why is he hiding it? Of course, a competent president of a real university that conducts real research would have no problem, at all, producing real documents regarding such a study. Why didn't Offerman provide a copy of his bogus study to the court? It can only be for two reasons:

  1. It doesn't exist
  2. It shows that Offerman is really just a bigoted lying moron who made up his own "facts" and doesn't anyone to see the truth!

 

In fact, on a single web page, Plaintiff calls me a “liar” no less than six times.

Michael Offerman is Cry Baby!

 

Just in case Offerman can't get it through his feeble mind, we hope he can count the number of times his been called a liar on this page. Of course, we doubt he is capable of counting without the use of his finger; therefore, the Michael Offerman is a liar page would be beyond his abilities - see if you can count the number of times Offerman is called a liar on that one!

 

Plaintiff refers to my behavior as “unethical” and “unprofessional” and generally disparages my professional abilities and suitability for a position in education.

A Rose, is a rose, is a rose. . .

 

Need we say more?

 

Plaintiff states that I “discriminated” against a professor based upon an employment lawsuit in which summary judgment was granted against the plaintiff.

  1. On the University of Maryland University College website forum (the “UMCUReview”), Plaintiff ‘greeted’ the site from “http://CapellaUniversitySucks.us.” A true and correct copy of this posting is attached hereto as Exhibit 4. In this Exhibit, Plaintiff states,

    “The President of the university lies to students.” Plaintiff further states as follows:

    While Capella University regularly visits our site, there is absolutely nothing they can do about it — not only are all of the above items absolutely true, but there is NOTHING they can do for the simple reason that we are merely reporting the facts. (bold emphasis added; capitalization original)

Offerman Shows His Contempt for the First Amendment!

 

Offerman and his lying goons and thugs at Capella University actively scour the Internet looking for statements by students telling the truth! Fact: Offerman is a liar.

 
  1. The statements in Exhibits 3a, 3b and 4 are not true. I do not, nor have I lied to students. Contrary to Plaintiff’s assertions, the study I referred to was conducted. I have no sympathies with the Nazi party. I do not participate, nor have I ever in discrimination. I have never been involved in any lawsuit regarding a faculty member or instructional staff the allegation of such involvement is very damaging to my position as President of an academic institution and would be looked upon with much trepidation by my colleagues.

Offerman the Moron

 

Facts:

  1. If a study was done, then where is it? Two years later and nothing! Why is Offerman such a sleazy lying coward amd refuses to produce something that would demonstrate to the entire world what fabulous research institution Capella University is? Then again, it should be painfully obvious that Offerman is hiding something!
  2. No one ever said that Offerman had or has sympathies with the Nazi Party - his blatant bigotry, cowardness, lies, and publicity stunts would certainly be compatible with other bigots though!
  3. Offerman states, very clearly, that

    "I (Offerman) have never been involved in any lawsuit regarding a faculty member or instructional staff"

As previously noted, that statement is a blatant lie! Again, read "Karla J. Markel v. Board of Regents of the University of Wisconsin System" and then see if you can find out just how many "faculty members or instructional staff" were involved (hint, the number is more than one)!

 
  1. Plaintiff’s statements, including the above, have injured both my professional reputation and that of Capella University, and may have damaged the business relationships Capella has established with UCI.

Offerman the Wimp

 

Michael Offerman is too much of a sleazy girly-man to admit that the only statements that "have injured both [his] professional reputation and that of Capella University, and may have damaged the business relationships Capella has established with UCI." are his own!

 

I declare under penalty of perjury that the foregoing is true and correct. Executed this 31st of October, 2005, in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

Michael Offerman's Signature (It's now public record.)

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