Jim Adam - Snake Oil Enrollment Director

The following contains the complete text of the declaration that Jim Adam filed on behalf of his employer, Capella University. The only thing we've added are comments and links to appropriate sources to demonstrate his sleazy comments.

In addition to the text version provided below, we've also provided a copy of Jim Adam's official declaration for your reading pleasure (requires Adobe Acrobat Reader)!

I, Jim Adam, do declare and say:

  1. I make this Declaration in support of Defendant and Counterclaimant Capella University’s (“Capella”) Supplemental Opposition to Motion to Strike Counterclaim. I am make these statements based on my own personal knowledge and if called as a witness, would and could testify competently thereto.
  2. I am an Enrollment Director for the School of Undergraduate Studies at Capella University (“Capella”).
  3. During the summer of 2005, I worked with two potential learners who were interested in enrolling at Capella. Because of their geographical locations, and the fact Capella is a distance learning school, our contacts were by telephone and email.
  4. Both of these individuals questioned me aggressively regarding the claims made on the La Marca website. One individual, Debbie [name redacted] of Pleasantview, Colorado, went as far as to send me various pages from La Marca's website and ask for an explanation of the claims contained therein.

Poor Jimmy, Someone Asked the Tough Questions.

 

Mercy, mercy! Please don't tell us, Jimmy, that "potential learners" (isn't that a catchy phrase?!) had the courage to ask real questions? Gosh, golly, gee wiz - they were about to spend more than $100,000 between the two of them and you're too much of a girly-man to answer them? Heck, based upon the enormous number of liars at Capella University, we can only hope that you told them the truth. Oh well, that's not expecting too much, is it Jimmy?

 
  1. While each of these individuals eventually registered for courses, both failed to actually participate in classes and dropped out before the census date of the quarter.

Looks Like Jimmy Did Con Them!

 

Please Jimmy-boy, you must be joking. After all of the horrible things that appear on this and other web sites that these fine individuals had the courage to ask you about (ever heard of being a good consumer?), they enrolled at Capella anyway?! Gasp! Tell us it's not true!

Then, to make matters worse, you have the audacity to state that they "failed to actually participate in classes" (gosh, just who are you going to blame for that?) and then they decided to drop out? For all we know, these "learners" were intelligent individuals who quickly discovered, on their own, just how horrible Capella University (and WebCT) really is and didn't feel like coughing up huge bucks to take more courses from the likes of "faculty" such as Shawn Ambrose and Diane Stottlemyer (you know, the one who has taught at Capella for years even though the University has known she bought her "graduate degrees" from a diploma mill). Of course, Jimmy-boy, that might be the real reason they decided to drop out. Oh well. . .

 
  1. Had these individuals enrolled, the total cost of their programs would be $53,940, for each of them, depending upon how quickly they completed the required coursework. Quarterly tuition in the School of Undergraduate Studies based on 2 classes per quarter is $3,480.

Tuition at Capella Now Soars to $53,940

 

Heck, your buddy, Darin Giedd sells Bachelor Degrees for just $46,000 (what a steal!) - and yet you claim that the two individuals who actually enrolled at Capella would have had to pay for $53,940, each, for theirs? The only difference that we can determine from your fine declaration and that of Darin Giedd's is that your victims appear to have been female (does Capella charge women more?) - then again, that wouldn't surprise us either - based upon the blatant discrimination and retaliation that we already know exists there!

 
  1. In addition to these individuals, I have had other telephone calls in which potential learners raised issued [sic] based on material contained on La Marca's site. At some point during these discussions, each of these potential learners has stated they were no longer interested in attending Capella. Because these were incoming calls, I have no way to contact these individuals.

What Happened? Did Jim Adam Tell the Truth?

 

Something must have gone wrong, Jimmy-boy. Apparently you need someone else to blame for not making your daily quota! Of course, other HONEST Capella employees (more than likely, ex-employees) have shared what it's like to be an "enrollment counselor" (my, what an impressive title for a sales clerk). Additional details about Capella's hard sell tactics may be found on the Capella Sucks Forum, as well as elsewhere on the Internet. Caveat Emptor!

 

I declare under penalty of perjury that the foregoing is true and correct. Executed this 31 [sic] day of January 2006, in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

[No signature provided or it was not signed]

Our Favorite Links!
Link to the Capella Sucks Forums - Share your horror story!
Link to Capella University Sucks
Link to Capella University Nazi Hunters
Link to the Capella Lawsuit Blog
Link to Drinker Biddle Sucks
Link to Filing a Complaint Against Capella University
Link to the Church of Our Lady for the Redemption and Salvation of Perpetual Liars

Visit Some Of
Our Friends!
Link to the Electronic Frontier Foundation
Link to the Web Gripe Sites